Alright, so I added the "Highly Important" part as an attempt at cynical mockery. But, seriously, this list of "75 things to do before you die" claims to make the potential attemptee "Challenge yourself, love yourself and, above all, enjoy yourself." Cosmo claims it can show us how. Cheers, guys.
And, yes, if you haven't already guessed, I actually am going to attempt to do all these things. If I've done any of them before - which I have - it doesn't count. New slate, and all that.
(Click on any of the "Challenges" below to go to the corresponding post. Alternatively, all challenges will follow this post in ascending order. Updated and completed posts appear on this list in RED)
2) Spend £500 on something designer - because you're worth it (a bit of shameless, subliminal advertising there, girls?) - and don't be scared to let it out of the house.
3) Have sex in a moving vehicle (not while either of you is driving, though!) (Please note: previous parenthesis = their words, not mine. I have no moral issues with endangering multiple lives for the greater good. "The Greater Good" being, obviously, risque sex.)
4) Protest - with a placard and everything - about something you feel passionately about. (As opposed to... dispassionately? Shame, that. I was so looking forward to protesting Gordon Brown's retirement.)
5) Learn all the words to Dolly Parton's Nine To Five. Then go on a road trip in a convertible and sing it at the top of your voice. (Continuously. For the entire 3 hour duration of said road trip.)
6) Discover the reason your parents are so irritating is because they love you so much.
7) Watch the sun rise over the Grand Canyon. That 5am wake-up call will be worth it. (I hope the £250 needed to buy numerous alarm clocks will also be worth it, because Goodness knows a fair few will end up smashed on the floor, or defenestrated from my third floor window, before I manage any semblance of consciousness.)
8) Have a drastic haircut. And no, "A couple of inches off the bottom" doesn't count.
9) Visit Rio during carnival and do some crazy dancing wearing feathers.
10) Glide along in a Gondola in Venice. Preferably with a very hot Italian.
11) Kiss someone highly inappropriate...
12) ... while you're at it, sleep with someone highly inappropriate too.
13) Totally trust someone with your love, your life... your new car. (I agree, "new baby" would have been much funnier.)
14) Discover what you want in bed and don't be afraid to ask for it. (Egyptian cotton sheets, please! If you're offering.)
15) Get a map of the world, close your eyes and point to a place. Wherever your finger lands, book a holiday or long weekend there.
16) Open the window in a car wash - just a bit and just for a second. (Yep. "...your love, your life... your new car." THAT car window.)
17) Give your best friend a birthday present six months before her birthday. And another one on the actual day.
18) Put four Mentos in a 2ltr bottle of Diet Coke, in the garden. Trust us, you won't be disappointed. (Finally!!! A truly worthwhile thing to do before I die!!!/thing to do before I die costing less than a whole month's paycheck!!!)
19) Have the confidence to say I love you, without having to hear it back. (Because everyone feels good when they hear awkward silence in return.)
20) Read a really good book while sitting under a palm tree.
21) Stay up all night with your best friend watching back-to-back classic movies. We're thinking Dirty Dancing, Back To The Future, Ghost, Grease and The Breakfast Club. Oh, and Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.
22) Grow something edible in your garden. Then make it the centerpiece of a feast.
23) Swim naked in the sea at night... with a sexy man by your side.
24) Do something kind for someone else when there's nothing in it for you. (Because buying my friend an intermittent present half way through the year is sooooo selfish of me.)
25) Visit the pyramids.
26) Drive along Route 66 (AND sing the song).
27) Have a picnic under the stars.
28) Find your perfect-fit jeans.
29) Learn at least 10 Chinese words. (Do numbers count?)
30) Be the boss.
31) Fall asleep in a hammock. (In the middle of the day. During summer. With no shade, or other form of sun protection. Make it a really long, deep, slumber too.)
32) Teach someone to read. (Do you have either a small child, or a dyslexic, that I can borrow, Cosmo?)
33) Fly first class. (Oh, goodie! Another thing to do under £500!)
34) Dance in a fountain.
35) Rub baby oil into a stripper's chest. (............... I have nothing more to say on the matter. Blatant abuse of the ellipsis will have to suffice.)
36) Watch fireworks with a child who's never seen them before. Oooooohhhh...Aaaahhhhhh... ("Oooooohhh...Aaaahhhhhh..." ??? Please don't tell me "fireworks" is some sort of creepy, editorial euphemism...)
37) Buy a pair of killer heels you can't walk in. (Shall I buy them from the stripper that I smeared baby oil into the chest of last month?)
38) Learn how to take a compliment. Yes, you do look that gorgeous. (And then said compliment-er nominates you for Gok Wang's next season of Fashion Fix.)
39) Re-read all of Roald Dahl's books. They're even better second time around. (Alright. Genuinely want to do this one!)
40) Kiss a celebrity. And if you can't find one, anyone who's ever tried out for The X Factor does count. (I love my bf. But seriously, if I saw Ben Barnes walking down the street...)
41) Drink champagne on a roof terrace.
42) Brag your way into a VIP party. Repeat after us, "Don't you know who I am?!"
43) Be hoisted up a boat's mast and yell, "Ahoy there!" Or, "Arghh, get me down!" Whichever works for you.
44) Convince someone you're Cheryl Cole's cousin.
45) Ride a horse along a beach.
46) Run a marathon.
47) Get a tattoo (or at least a henna one).
48) Watch five Adam Sandler films in a row. We defy you not to laugh.
49) See England win the World Cup. (In my lifetime???)
50) Whoop your way around a bay on a banana boat. (I... don't even know what any of that means...)
51) Talk on a walkie-talkie and use the phrases, "Roger that" and "Over and out". (They've emphasised this one with italics, larger font and a coloured "51" because it's one of the most important ones.)
52) Call your family just to tell them you love them. (Be sure to affirm that this is not a 'goodbye' and you are not about to go "off" yourself.)
53) Go shopping on Rodeo Drive, baby.
54) Go to Glastonbury and pitch your own tent. (As opposed to your bf's. Ooer!)
55) Raise £1,000 for charity.
56) Get off a bus somewhere random. Then explore.
57) Visit a film or TV set. We vote for Ramsay Street.
58) Get your CV written by a professional.
60) Get your dream job. Yes. You. Can. (Again, I like this one. Two out of 60... Keep up the good work, gaiz!)
61) Learn to surf. Or at least learn how to fall off a surfboard gracefully. (In all likelihood the latter will have to suffice.)
62) Ride on the back of a motorbike. Leather's compulsory.
63) ID your perfect role model and channel them. (As in copy their style/ideals, or as in use voodoo magic to invite their soul into your body...?)
64) Zoom down a zip wire over Costa Rica's rainforests.
65) Find a man who can undo your bra with one hand.
66) Go to a Full-Moon Party on Koh Phangan beach in Thailand.
67) Live in the heart of a city. (Make it Auckland. Then you can do 67 AND 68 simultaneously.)
68) Live in the middle of nowhere.
69) Own something from Prada.
70) Spend a weekend clubbing in Ibiza.
71) Ask a hot man on a date.
72) Bet on black in Vegas.
73) Ask your boss for a raise.
74) Own a pair of cowboy boots.
75) See him, want him, get him, keep him. (By force if needs be.) Yes, mister Right does exist.
Right. There you have it. Cosmo's suggestions for how I too can live a happy and successful life.
Goodness knows I'm sick to death of complaining about my life and all my insecurities. Who knows, perhaps Cosmo does know what us girls really need in life. Lets find out!
